


run//

by incelshuichi



Category: Winx Club
Genre: Gen, Underaged Drinking (mentioned), gay and in denial riven or acearo riven depending on your take, no dialouge, not a character study but this is how i view s1!riven, riven deep in thought, semi season 1 compliant, the other specialists and some of the winx are mentioned
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-01
Updated: 2020-05-01
Packaged: 2021-03-02 02:14:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 970
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23937472
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/incelshuichi/pseuds/incelshuichi
Summary: at night, riven runs.-or a fic in which i write about my comfort character being angsty
Comments: 4
Kudos: 20





	run//

-

most nights, riven can’t sleep. his brain keeps him up, nagging him with thoughts and questions about himself. theres an itch in rivens brain that asks him who he is. rivens response is to run. from what? from everything. run from red fountain. run from the specialists. run from the winx and alphea and the trix and from magix. run from responsibilities and judgements and consequences. just run.

it’s not hard to sneak out of red fountain. not only does timmy, his room-mate, sleep like a log, he’s had lots of practice staying unnoticed if his home life was any indication. he never knows where hes going when he sneaks out. he just goes. sometimes he’d use his hover-bike, sometimes he’d use public transit, sometimes he’d just walk around aimlessly. sometimes he’d end up at the beach and watch the waves rise and fall until sunrise. sometimes he’d end up downtown magix and hang around a bar populated by witches. and sometimes? he’d end up in the middle of nowhere, completely lost and alone. but somehow, riven likes the feeling. it’s a hell of a lot better than being surrounded by so called ‘friends’ and still feeling lonely.

he’s different from the rest of the specialists, he’d decided. but why? he still doesn't know what his place is in the group compared to the others. he’s not a leader like sky, not a loyal companion like brandon, and not a voice of reason like timmy. he’s just the impulsive, angry, aggressive, loud mouthed jerkass, right? not good at much but rushing into battles without thinking about it. that's who he is to everyone. just a loveless, hot headed prick.

love….what even is love to riven? he’s never been shown love. his mother abandoned him, his father neglected him, and his friends are far too occupied with their pixie girlfriends to care for him. he’s never felt fulfilled romantically, and he’d rather die than tell any of his friends about it. sky, brandon, even fucking timmy have far more experience in romance than him. he knows that he could just find a girlfriend, it’s not like he doesn’t have options, girls confess to him weekly. and its not like the idea of having a romantic partner is unappealing to him. so he doesn’t know what it is. he knows how musa feels about him, and it’s not like he hates her, he just doesn’t see her in that way. hell, he didn’t even see darcy that way. is there something wrong with him?? why can’t he have the picture perfect romance that sky and bloom have?

sky, oh god, sky. why does sky have everything so easy? why is life so good and uncomplicated for him? he gets the girl, he gets to play hero, he gets the endless praise and the happy endings and everything he wants handed to him and god, did it piss riven off. every good thing that happens to sky feels like a punch in a face to riven. as if the universe made sky just to constantly tell him how unlucky and how horrible he is. hes aware of how irrational these thoughts are, but at this point, he could care less. sky made riven angry. his perfection makes his blood boil. one day, it would feel great to have sky feel just a bit of how he feels.

but how does he feel? most of the time, he doesn’t even know. sometimes his brain is overflowing with….feelings. like he wants to scream every fucked up thought and release all the pent up rage and frustration and emotions at the top of his lungs for everyone to hear. but a lot of the time he just wants to shut off. just completely cut himself off from society, from friends, from the very little family has, from himself. rid himself of any feelings and just become a shell of a person. most of the time, that thought almost felt like an ideal to him.

if it’s not anger that riven feels most of the time, it’s boredom. he never feels fulfilled, like there's something more exciting for him just out of his reach. he still doesn’t know what it is, so he waits. but riven is extremely impatient. he knows there's more out there, so why should he have to stay here? there’s an entire universe worth exploring and he’s stuck. the boredom he feels drives him to do something, _anything_ , to make him feel alive. he shoplifts, he drinks (very rarely), he’ll pick fights with people just to alleviate the boredom.

waiting feels like a nuisance yet its all he can do until hes out. so he drowns himself in various activites. he sinks all his time into sports and other athletics and school and anything that will make the boredom go away. hes not very passionate about these things, in fact hes not really passionate about anything. he just wants the constant boredom to stop.

his head is full of white noise. thoughts over thoughts over thoughts of empty rage. riven wants to yell. he wants to say something, but words can’t come out the way he wants them to. the pain he’s constantly in can’t be expressed. he can’t put them in words, he can’t cry, he can’t do anything. the only thing he can do is get angry at everything and anything. these thoughts swirling in his brain get louder and louder and he can’t hear anything he has to run he can’t hear anything he has to run _he has to run he has to—_

and somehow hes back at red fountain. the night passed riven by and he can’t remember a thing. he goes about his day as he always does. and all he thinks about is running.

-

**Author's Note:**

> i wrote this 2 months ago at 1 am, but i hope you liked it lol. i adore riven and writing this made me so happy.


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